Ki – Ka vs Ka – ki

From Black and white times to the present day coloured; High Definition; multi dimensional times India cinema has maintained one common thread; they all are bizarre! Most of them are surreal, bearing zero connection to realism. Some seem to start a bit on fantasy and a bit on a realistic note, but somewhere along the line they lose the plot or forget where they started; and what they wanted to convey to the audience. Some are so hard hitting and a stark naked ‘real’ that they scare me to death! Thus, without fail ALL the movies have this ‘idiosyncratic’ link. Despite this ‘common quirk’ hits and flops; highs and lows and making and breaking of careers have happened in the past and will continue to happen in the future too. Indian Cinema is bizarre and probably successful globally because of this unique attribute! The more unrealistic and away from the truth the movie is the more successful and alluring to the audience it seems to be!

Even though I still remain an avid movie watcher I have steadfastly stayed away from commenting on our Indian cinema’s diapason for this singular reason; the common thread! But the recent past or maybe the last decade has seen change. A blend of more realism and less fantasy, some value and more thought provoking genre of movies have started to see the daylight. I used to remember the songs and the intense acting in the black white era;  then nothing in between , nothing at all really, and then in the recent past I used to return home with some ‘food for thought’ or some light hearted humour to share with my friends or nothing yet again!

I was kind of getting used to the ‘less bizarre’ ‘more natural’ segment and suddenly comes ‘KI & KA’ ! It was advertised as a very ‘present day relevant’ ‘novel’ ‘most intelligently made’ ‘must watch’ ‘4-1/2 stars’ and the list went on…needless to say we waited for its release with bated breath. I sat through the whole movie waiting for the moment where I could connect to the raving reviews it received! If could have nodded in the affirmative to even one review I would have yet again stayed away from commenting. But it was way too big a letdown to let this pass just like that!

Thus this article, for the first time, about a movieL!! To escape controversy and debate I put the disclaimer beforehand; this is strictly the way I perceive the movie. Read and feel free to say ‘Yes I relate with your views’ or ’No, I do not agree with you’; that is all. That closes the topicJ.

“It is not about ki-ka or ka –ki, It is about the self and ME!!”—If the Mother had ended her last line with this dialogue, even then I would have shut up! Not commented and you would have been spared of this long article! Uh! Let me begin from the beginning now!

Give me one Indian man who is IIM (B) or IIM from anywhere or with any such ‘glorified’ qualification and the same mind set as this lead guy in the movie! Okay, let’s take it that there is such a person, not one person but many such Indian men are out there! What a waste of talent, mental acumen and business skill! And I would have said that for any IIM qualified woman too! One studies hard, competes and clears the IIM level of exam and competition with a dream of ‘home –making’!!  That itself was stretching it a bit toooo far for me! ki-ka all forgotten! Sensible human being won’t do it, should not be allowed to do it! Give the seat to someone else, and you prove your mettle elsewhere!

Let us pass that, now from the women’s side, how many women really have such exemplary culinary skills!? 9 out 10 women I know can cook well, true, but to be able to be recognised at the national level kind of cooking?!! That is a totally different thing to reckon with. (I am keeping my lips sealed on the TED talk!) And from the lead lady’s side, I don’t know a single woman who can’t cook at all! Every woman can cook! Full stop! One dish at least and NO woman lives out of ‘ordered food’ this is again something highly unpalatable for me!

Now for another angle, when in need of funds, the home maker here resorts to becoming a trainer! Makes me wonder, ‘He is an IIM guy; can’t he start a consultancy? Train in some other areas where he can create women entrepreneurs’ or something!’ ‘Start a cooking class maybe, given his culinary skills!’ He had to become a physical trainer! What a mind numbing boring job! And he is a success in that too! Showing that ki-ka is irrelevant! He can work and also be an excellent home-maker with equal panache’. When he got busy, the house had no food! How likely is that now? I know most women world over who are working; come home from work and cook! Most urban-living, present day families have working partners and both chip in! If the husband is busy the wife cooks and vice –versa! The movie lost me in this aspect also! I am still trying to get a grip over the movie when the last straw comes.

He is famous and she is jealous! She dishes out the choicest of foul mouthed epithets, he swallows them politely, and very dejectedly packs his bags (2nd or 3rd year of marriage mind you) and leaves his house! I am stumped now! How many Indian women relate to this? Better question is: How many Indians relate to this? He left his house, (he is the wife; remember) because she is jealous! Realistically speaking, a man can leave the house (this was the ONLY true thing) a woman will leave her career, sit home and kill her life but may not be allowed to leave her home! (if it is still the traditional background that we are talking about) and if it is the modern set up then she would still have held her ground, filed for a divorce, really ‘robbed’ the ‘pati’ off his finances via alimony and then gone her way! So, on both counts the lead guy leaving the house was, I don’t know, don’t have the right word yet!

So what to make of this movie? I am not sure what they wanted to show or what message they wanted to give their audience. I am sure it is a big hit and even if it is not, it definitely made good money!

From where I see, none of it is ki-ka or ka –ki; it is and always has been about the self, ME! All of us want to feel ‘worthy’ of ‘some use’ and that is what drives us. Working women seek appreciation at their work place and if they do not get it there, they search for the same at home! Similarly, a non- working woman (or a home maker or house wife) wants to be appreciated for what she is doing to keep the home together! If the self –esteem of a person (man or woman) is continuously trampled upon that becomes the problem. Indian women are hungry to become working women only to prove their ‘worth’ because ‘housewife’ is not appreciated anymore! A man who is not appreciated at his work place will be as embittered as a housewife, maybe more and vent it at on the wife!

Irony of the movie is, he is invited by Mrs.Bacchan, and he goes to meet Mr.Bacchan! Mr.Bachhan is very grumpy about having him over and Mrs. Bacchan is writing a note praising Mrs. Lead lady! Talk about confusion !

Man managing the house willingly is perfect and a woman managing office willingly is also perfect as long as the roles they have adopted earn them the requisite sense of ‘value’ and ‘self –worth’. It is really not about who brings the money or who is who in the eyes of the world. It is all about how valuable I am to ‘me’ and what is my real self worth. I am self reliant and self aware, I am fine, that’s ‘me’ it has nothing to do with ka-ki.