self

Busily Lazy!

Busily Lazy!

“Often what we think of as the things ‘wrong’ with us are only expressions of our own individuality…… To try to be like another is to shrivel our soul.”

 

In the last one year, my life has shifted from being overwhelmingly busy to absolute boredom. In India, despite being a housewife, I felt I was the busiest person on the planet. I was actively involved in many things I liked to do and my life felt like it had some purpose. Meditation and my Mission play a pivotal role in my life. Naturally, my whole day simply flew doing something or the other pertaining to my Mission. 

 

In the past, I do not remember complaining once about my husband’s continuing absence and extra devotion to his work at the cost of totally neglecting the family. I juggled all the household duties the best I could, giving total precedence to Mission work. Since I always had some Mission related work waiting for me; I finished the rest of these daily chores with alacrity, rather they seemed to take care of themselves with ease, and I always had time to do what I really loved doing.

 

 I managed free time to devote to my hobbies, like learning music, reading, writing and sketching. In a nutshell, tending to the kids, my volunteer work combined with time spent in my hobbies, I never had room to sit idle. With ease and some magical power that comes from passion, I was able to pursue my hobbies, accomplish my household chores and be an active volunteer too.  I am actually trying to describe is ‘myself’: me and my whole self, my individuality manifested through my activities during the day, all of which vests on one word, Mission.

 

The past year brought a conflicting and discordant change in ‘me – myself’.  The one thing which kept me going, happy and purpose – filled disappeared. This move overseas brought with it changes and new challenges I needed to adapt to. The country and its culture were new to me, so it became more or less like a rebirth. The last one year was a different kind of discovery; more about the place, people, my daughter’s school, her life and routine. Thus, volunteering or working for the Mission was not an option. Every other routine was the same; household chores, tending to my daughter and with zero Mission work I was either writing or sketching or practicing music.  Without wasting any time, I located my Ashram in London (later in Dublin, Ireland which is where I am living presently); started attending Satsangh and put my name down for volunteer work. It was then a matter of time, I was assured; that I would surely get some Mission work and be busy again the way I loved to be. Until then I was determined to keep myself busy and learn to be happy and cheerful like I was back home. This thought process barely worked for about 2months.

 

I am inherently a shy person; and this was not India. I hesitated to repeatedly go and seek ‘work’. Anything I volunteered for, the rules were different here and I needed some clearance or the other. That meant another long wait of maybe 6months or so! I still tried to remain unfazed and kept going with the thought of ‘As long I am busy, I am happy, with or without Mission work’.  Work never came; I stopped asking, I busily kept waiting for them to ask….and ended up becoming busily lazy.  Gradually, my attendance reduced, I was too busy being lazy and conjured some lame excuse to stay home; skip ashram.

 

With this busily-lazy change came to light other changes. My life, with all the busy schedules and never ending chores, seemed very purposeless and devoid of ‘life’. The spark was gone. My complaints about my husband’s absence became incessant. With or without reason, I demanded to be sent back home. I could not see the reason why he brought us across seven seas and dumped us in this ‘hellhole’! (No disrespect to Dublin, it is a beautiful place, but my heart did not belong here and I was tired of being busily-idle!). My husband was perplexed, I had more work here, yet I complained of being free! I was in one of the most developed, clean countries of the world, yet I was unwell, falling sick, and forever complaining. 

 

Back home, with my volunteering work, I had to snatch time to pursue any of my hobbies. Here I could live a calm, planned life, not be disturbed and pursue every hobby, whim and fancy to my heart’s content. Yet, I was unhappy, and most of my household chores were untended to. Some work or the other remained pending. I was forgetful and started to procrastinate. With such a busy schedule in India every chore happened like clockwork. Magically, I found spare time to pursue my hobbies too. Here, I stopped music altogether. I dabbled with writing, a bit of jibber-jabber about everything and very soon it was tedious to write. The last few months my sketching too has come to a standstill. I was so busily – lazy that I never found ‘time’ to accomplish the basic household chores.

 

With my individuality lost, the comparisons began. I compared myself to others, they were all busy working, earning and seemed to enjoy life. I was sitting at home doing nothing which was depressing and very demoralising. I hurriedly started hunting for a job, any job. Work to keep me busy; get me out of this dreadful busily-lazy state. Then I read this:

 

“This is our uniqueness and what is special about us. Nature never repeats itself. …..We are meant to be different. When we can accept this, then there is no competition and no comparison. … We have come to this planet to express who we are.”

 

Thus, the past year has been one roller coaster ride of emotions. A learning year, keeping me busily busy with me- myself!  This new year heralds a new me. I comprehend that Mission work and my eagerness to spread my Master’s word is what is unique to me. How can that be copied from anyone? I am making friends, putting up flyers wherever it is allowed, to spread His word!

 

I have made small break throughs too. I am doing my Mission work again, not as actively as I aspire for, but I am hopeful and success is assuredly within reach. I have resumed writing, because my writings best express who I am. THIS is me, my true identity. And, I am happy again being busily-busy.

 

Note:  Most of my recent articles are self-deprecating, introspective and seriously one track! The whole year I seem to be reminiscing about my poor self, happy self, good self and all the many selves I suddenly seem to have countenanced in my whole persona. This will be my last one friends, this new year I assure you, you will see a new me, a positive me and a focused me. Here is to new beginnings and bidding adieu to the old me…

 

Present in the Present

Present in the Present

My last article titled Present in the Past evoked this (copy- pasted below) from my dear editor.

“This made me feel really sad! It’s all well and good to take ownership of our state of mind and spirit but it’s another thing to undermine the huge trauma of being uprooted, the incredible grief, loss of identity and isolation that comes with it, especially when where you have come from holds such meaning and significance.

I relate to this because 20 years down the track, I still struggle with cultural conflicts, identity crisis and a deep sense of loss with all things familiar and as the memories are now fading, there is a sense of anger too.

I know and understand what you are saying in terms of learning the lesson and meant to help you grow spiritually. But, I wonder if it is way too simplistic and you saying I have to now live in the NOW will make the rest of your readers (such as myself!) feel like we are just not wanting to help ourselves.

I do agree (although I wish I could dispute) that ultimately taking ownership and stopping the blame game is the only way forward…!!

Definitely a bit of a sad story for me…Leaves me wanting to say but! but!

If even one reader is in sync with my editor’s thinking; the onus is on me to explain myself better . To begin with, the article was meant to be leading towards self – inquiry, and not to evoke sadness. If it comes across as sad, I humbly apologize.

Secondly, the article seems to undermine the trauma of being uprooted, loss of identity, being alone in an unknown land… this is not my intention at all.  I am not belittling the emotional upheaval one goes through when thus uprooted. Having said that, I wish to clarify a little bit here; these days all of us willingly come abroad in search of greener pastures, a better life. I am yet to meet a person who has gone abroad to study and has come back to India after completing their studies. They have stayed on, desperately hunted for any form of employment, married abroad and settled abroad. They undoubtedly miss their country, true, but not so much that they return to their homeland. To connect this to my view point, this ‘living abroad’ is per se a self-made choice. At the risk of sounding brutally honest, it is a willing ‘loss of identity’ and adapting to the new culture. Most of us living abroad seem to be reminded of our culture or the Indian traditions when its festive season or in some religious context! I do not relate to the present show of Indian culture abroad nor am I very comfortable with the way religion is being showcased! Thus, I have no authority to comment on anything I know I am mentally disconnected with.

More importantly, I was less commenting about others and more trying to dwell upon myself! For a spiritual aspirant like me, I feel it is less about the place, people or even culture for that matter. It is simply about the self; and this is what I wish the reader to read into. I came abroad because my husband got his job here. As simple as that. I was living the best lifestyle, indeed the best life back home, my greenest pasture, as it were. I never had nor do I currently feel any need or longing for a life abroad. Yet, I have been put in this situation. Before making the big shift, I had mentally prepared myself. All thanks to meditation, I thought I could be happy anywhere in the world. If I was moving away it meant that I had completed my role in my present place, a new role was awaiting me.

Since coming here, especially after the novelty and activity of discovery in the first few months, I sensed a lull within me, as if life had been snuffed out. That’s when the pondering (self-inquiry) began.  The feeling of being uprooted, isolation and incredible grief that my editor mentioned; I seriously had thought I was way past all that. Home is where your heart is, and heart is where you help the heart love into being, making its home! So, what was I struggling with, why was I angry and where did this sense of ‘nothing to look forward to’ stem from for me? It dawned on me that I was still not looking at the bigger picture. I was talking big but not living it. One change of place, a slight shift from my comfort zone and all my calm, equanimity and wisdom seemed to fly out the window.

Again, I agree with my editor, it is not as simplistic. But, it was not meant to be, which is the truth I had missed too. It took an effort on my part. Some introspection and a lot of courage to look at the mirror and face the reality of what I saw. To answer the last part, about getting the feeling of not wanting to help oneself; I don’t think we do not want to help ourselves. More accurate is the assumption that we are lost and we do not know what exactly can help us! We try everything and most of it gives ephemeral peace and solace. In no time the hunt is on again, because the restlessness creeps in. “In vivekachudamni verse 11 Swami Dayanand Saraswati writes: There is always romanticism in spiritual pursuit. You want to be something special, something different. There is a value for this romanticism. When you see through this romanticism you are objective. This is vairagya.” That is exactly where I think meditation gives me the edge! I know I can walk my way out of any dark hole, I just have to stay calm, introspect and look within.  I am practicing something unique, I am trying to become someone unique, challenges will assuredly be unique too, right? I needed to ‘see’ beyond all this, become objective.

Now, only if I started living in the ‘now’ and stopped being ‘present in the past’ would I be able to figure that out. That’s the omniety, the whole nine yards of what I wanted to translate to the reader.

Present in the Past

Present in the Past

“My Master used to say that the family is the best environment for spirituality, because it is in the family that  you learn love and sacrifice. Now, if you divorce your wife, what is the sacrifice? Or if you abandon  your children, what is the sacrifice? That is why I was so angry. The environment we have is what is necessary for our spiritual development. Like when a mango tree grows in a certain place and then you take it and plant it in the mountains, it will not grow….”  

One of the many reasons which had driven me to the doorstep of meditation was my anger. Anger about everything and angry with everyone. I was unhappy with the way my life was slipping through my fingers. I was moving from one debilitating day to another. My continuous thought process then was how I was merely living but not alive, purposeful. I had so many plans, so many things to do and yet somehow my circumstances or responsibilities seemed to tie me down. I was vegetating and dwelling in the past and the dreary web I found myself in. I kept blaming my family for burdening me and pinning me down in a helpless situation. I was not being allowed to evolve, I was like the caterpillar going through the longest larva stage, yet to turn into a butterfly.

Meditation helped me do away with all that baggage and “blame the other person” attitude. Today, I have grown wiser and hopefully become a much calmer and better human being.  I have learned my lessons; thus the feeling of being trapped has disappeared. I feel free, purposeful and alive. I have lots to do, I have accomplished many goals and aspirations. Maybe that’s the reason I had to go through the drudgery and boredom so that I could appreciate my new self. Without any changes in my life (on the outside), I had blossomed and changed into a little butterfly! In the same set of circumstances, just with a new mindset, better self -awareness (of the person I am, my inside), I am able to be happy and alive.

These last few months I kept reminiscing about my busy days and I wonder why I am here, in Dublin. I have no work, I know no friends nor have any acquaintances, I am stuck at home twiddling my thumbs or switching the TV channels; becoming a couch potato.

Everything happens for a reason, live it, love it, learn from it…I know everything happens for a reason, but I wish I knew what the reason was, because the hardest thing is waiting for the understanding of the reason. Because, nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.

This move from India to Dublin, Ireland has forced me to remember the above quotes again. I have come to acknowledge in the last one year here that I am once again standing on the same threshold where I was before joining meditation. Not exactly the same threshold, but the mindset or the thought process seemed to wander in the same downward spiral. My observation is that I am more and more inclined to be ‘present in the past’. 

The first few months were busy and flew with getting acquainted with this beautiful city and its wonderful people.  Unfortunately for me, this country is the size of one Indian state, and the whole population is less than the population of a state in India! It was impossible for me to stretch my ‘new place euphoria’ beyond three months, even 3 months is a big stretch. Thus, with the honeymoon period gone, my ‘present in the past’ days became incessant. 

I was always acknowledged the fact that I would have very little active life-work here in Dublin. Yet, the new, post-meditation me was confident that I would find ways and means to be busy and happy; find some avocation to keep myself occupied and actively engaged. But now, almost every second day I find myself in a state of limbo and I feel trapped. I want to go back to my busy life. This thought process invariably brings back my question as to why, why am I here!? What is my role in this place?

I feel like that uprooted mango tree! I was happy and blooming there, in India. But, Master also said,’ that the family is the best environment for spirituality, because it is in the family you learn love and sacrifice……. Because the environment which we have is what is necessary for our spiritual development.’ Today, I have been re-planted here, in a totally new environment. Thanks to my meditation I am not angry nor have I begun the blame game. But my quest has begun. This shift to Dublin was to be able to be together again, as a family. For the last few years I had become comfortable being on my own. This big shift is something I needed to accept and adapt to. I had to learn to be at home without feeling trapped. I keep writing about this wonderful place and give the impression of being very happy and busy, but I keep cribbing and complaining to my better half about being stuck; holed up in this ‘god forsaken place’! There is a duplicity in me and my expression of self. That needs to go. In India, doing what I wanted was a piece of cake. I did not have to struggle or move away from my comfort zone. This place; I need to re-learn everything and from this environment that I am in today.  Meditation must help me be calm and with equanimity, anywhere and with anyone. This simple change of place has made my world so topsy-turvy. I am undoubtedly better than before but there is room for change still. May be that’s why I am here, to do away with the duplicity, get out of my comfort zone and learn again, afresh and anew. I am actually learning so much here, from the place and people, I need to bring some purpose to this learning and put it all to practice. For all this to fructify, I have to put a stop to my ‘present in the past’ state.

 Learn to be present in the present, accept the change and be alive now, in the now.

The song of Self—Last Verse

The song of Self—Last Verse

The song of Self—Last Verse

Atma Shatagam – Adi Shankaracharya  788 – 820 BC

ahaṃ nirvikalpo nirākāra rūpo

vibhutvā ca sarvatra sarvendriyāṇaṃ

na cāsangata naiva muktir na meyaḥ

cidānandarūpaḥ śivo’ham śivo’ham

 

अहं निर्विकल्पो निराकाररूपो
विभुत्वाच्च सर्वत्र सर्वेन्द्रियाणाम् ।
न चासङ्गतं नैव मुक्तिर्न मेयः
चिदानन्दरूपः शिवोऽहम् शिवोऽहम् ॥६॥

 

Meaning:

 

I am all pervasive. I am without any attributes, and without any form. I have neither attachment to the world, nor to liberation (mukti). I have no wishes for anything because I am everything, everywhere, every time, always in equilibrium.  I am Shiva, shivoham, shivoham. I am indeed, that eternal knowing and bliss, the auspicious (Śivam), love and pure consciousness.

 

Further Elaboration:

All the above verses incessantly elucidate the same thing, trying to answer the single question: who am I? Since this is the last verse I am recapitulating the first five verses here below J

Mano Buddhi Ahankara Chitta Ninaham
Nacha Shrotra Jihve Na Cha Ghrana Netre
Nacha Vyoma Bhoomir Na Tejo Na Vayu
Chidananda Rupa Shivoham Shivoham

I am not mind, nor intellect, nor ego, nor the reflections of inner self (chitta).
I am not the five senses. I am beyond that.
I am not the ether, nor the earth, nor the fire, nor the wind (the five elements).
I am indeed, That eternal knowing and bliss, Shiva, love and pure consciousness.

Na Cha Prana Samjno Na Vai Pancha Vayu
Na Va Saptadhatur Na Va Pancha Koshah
Na Vak Pani Padau Na Chopastha Payu
Chidananda Rupa Shivoham Shivoham

Neither can I be termed as energy (prana), nor five types of breath (vayus), nor the seven material essences, nor the five coverings (pancha-kosha).  Neither am I the five instruments of elimination, procreation, motion, grasping, or speaking.

Na Me Dvesha Ragau Na Me Lobha Mohau
Mado Naiva Me Naiva Matsarya Bhavah
Na Dharmo Na Chartho Na Kamo Na Mokshah
Chidananda Rupa Shivoham Shivoham

I have no hatred or dislike,  nor affiliation or liking,  nor greed,  nor delusion, 
nor pride or haughtiness,  nor feelings of envy or jealousy. I have no duty (dharma), nor any money, nor any desire (kama),  nor even liberation (moksha).

Na Punyam Na Papam Na Saukhyam Na Dukham
Na Mantro Na Teertham Na Vedo Na Yajnaha
Aham Bhojanam Naiva Bhojyam Na Bhokta
Chidananda Rupa Shivoham Shivoham


I have neither merit (virtue), nor demerit (vice). I do not commit sins or good deeds, nor have happiness or sorrow, pain or pleasure. I do not need mantras, holy places, scriptures (Vedas), rituals or sacrifices (yagnas). I am none of the triad of the observer or one who experiences, the process of observing or experiencing,
or any object being observed or experienced


Na Me Mrityu Shanka Na Me Jati Bhedah
Pita Naiva Me Naiva Mata Na Janma
Na Bandhur Na Mitram Gurur Naiva Shishyah
Chidananda Rupa Shivoham Shivoham

I do not have fear of death, as I do not have death. I have no separation from my true self, no doubt about my existence, nor have I discrimination on the basis of birth. I have no father or mother, nor did I have a birth. I am not the relative, 
nor the friend, nor the guru, nor the disciple. 

 

All the above verses; if the reader gives them a careful reading; continuously explain what the boy ( shankaracharya ) is not! He begins saying – “He is not mind, intellect nor ego, then up until the fifth verse he is saying he is not death nor birth, since he has neither!”  Only the last verse begins with – “I am…” He is all pervasive. He is everywhere and in everything and in everyone! He is… and because He is …this world also is…” if we deny His existence then we might have to question all else too. He resides in every animate- inanimate part, particle of this universe and beyond. How can anyone not be Him when we all have Him in us? Do the broken pieces of a mirror reflect a different face in every broken piece? No! They reflect the same face; even the smallest shard has the same face, very miniscule undoubtedly, but the same reflection. Where is the doubt then? Why do we think HE is separate from us? Why this feeling of distance or separateness and differentiation? What fails to bring in the feeling of oneness in all of us?

Why do we behave thus? Why do we so doggedly distance our self from our Self? I am repeating the  introductory paragraph here:   It is a very striking point to note that when the universe began it was in such a pristine pure state; science and spirituality were one, Religion was one, and we all were one. Every householder was a saint, enlightened and achieving the real goal of life. With time ominously dark clouds started to appear, wisdom became a restricted property. Religion became Religions, and Science and spirituality parted ways. Science looked for reason and doubted everything, Spirituality became the mute spectator. We have uprooted our own culture and heritage in our greed for wealth and scientific advancement. What every householder knew then is an enigma to almost the whole nation now.

 What Jagat Guru, Adi shankaracharya could answer with such simplicity and lucidity then, in 788 – 820 BC; at the mere age of 8; we, today, are yet to decipher and capture the essence of those verses. This realized soul knew the reason, purpose, source of his existence and the role he had come to play in the short life that God had blessed him with.

 

And here we are today, with all our modern technologies and extraordinary discoveries, yet befuddled more than ever before and unable to answer the fundamental question.

During our self development classes we ask the students this question – Who am I? And my co –faculty always introduces this in a unique way: “we used to have a television show (This is during those good old B/W TV days where only one channel came) named ‘Tarang’. In that show once the teacher and the students play ’catch me if you can’ and all the children race to catch the teacher. One student catches the hand and shouts, ‘caught you, caught you!’ And the wise teacher says, ‘NO! You caught my hand! U did not catch me!’ and this goes on, one student catches the head, the shirt, the leg, all the body parts but get the same reply from the teacher!! Suddenly they all jump on the teacher together and scream in unison, ‘Now we caught you! And the wily teacher still has that huge smile on his face and says, ‘No! This is my body that you have pounced upon! Who am I!? ” Now this story always holds the audience and they all close their eyes to introspect, pause and ruminate. What is it that aptly answers this question?

If we take the example of Bruce Lee’s famous dialogue: “Be Water my friend…” Are we water? Even then one is a glass of water, the other may be a cup, then again another may be rose colored water and someone else maybe ice. These are all the attributes and clothing or coverings of water. But are we water yet? Water is, it has no taste, no form, no color, and no attributes; yet without water we cannot survive. Similarly, HE is and so I am! All the rest that differentiate us from each other are merely attributes, layers, clothing, bondages, samskara whatever name we choose to give. Thus, remove the layers and what remains is He. And the same He will be in everyone, and all becomes One, singular, no diversity nor separateness.

No wonder that a true Saint sees only a reflection of oneself in the rest of the world. And we in our stupid smallness try to see ourselves and find fault in the rest of the world. We are unique, true, but think again, is this uniqueness really such a good attribute? Why do we wish to be unique or different?

Thus, to conclude, try and see Him in yourself, to answer this question ‘ who am I?’ and to truly realize Him and be one with Him,  try and see Him in all else too. I am..Because He is…

Thank you

The song of Self – 5th verse

The song of Self – 5th verse

Atma Shatagam—Adi Shankaracharya  788-820 BC

Na Me Mrityu shanka Name jaati bedhah,

Pita naiva me naiva mata na janmah|

Na bandhur na mitram guru naiva shishyah ,

Chidananda roopah Shivoham shivoham | 5|

न् में मृत्यु शंका न् में जाती भेद:

पिता नैव् में नैव् माता न जन्म

न बन्धुर न् मित्रं गुरु नैव शिष्य:

चिदानंद रूप: शिवोहम शिवोहम |५|

Meaning:

I neither doubt death nor have I fear of death; I have no caste distinctions. I am neither the mother nor the father. I was never born and I have no kith or kin. I am no one’s friend; I am not a guru nor am I any one’s shishya. I have no separation from my true self, no doubt about my existence, nor have I discrimination on the basis of birth. I am not the relative, nor the friend, nor the guru nor the disciple. I myself am the joy of pure consciousness; I am Shiva, shivoham, shivoham. I am indeed, that eternal knowing and bliss, Shiva, love and pure consciousness.

Further Elaboration:

As a student I attended many personality development workshops. The emphasis was always on communication skills, good dressing sense and the ability to be competitive, driven; I needed to have an edge over the other students.  The focus always seemed on being aware of what the competing student was doing and do better than that person else I would end up losing my coveted spot.  Now, I never figured how someone else’s coveted spot could be mine too. And how come I was competing with that person with no idea whether I wanted to be in the race for the so called coveted spot at all! This juggling with others, trying to read their mind, probing into their life left me in such disarray about my own self, who I really wanted to be or even who I really was.

This world was in many ways always trying to confuse me and I was finding it increasingly difficult to trust my own kith and kin. Identity is the only thing I was desperately trying to hang on to; losing my identity meant losing everything.  But what is identity? Does it always remain the same? Even my given name changed with marriage and I adopt my husband’s name. From being my parent’s child I had graduated and become a parent myself, identity changes seemed to happen at every step of my life and yet here I was, searching and seeking the answer to this core question, who am I?

The answers came, gradually and one at a time, after I joined meditation.  As I sat meditating one day, something happened and I felt very anxious, worried and perturbed. I saw myself dissolving and re-emerging as a different person, same face, body and skin, but a new identity and yet I was the same, no change in me as a person as such! ‘I’ would seem to burn into cinders and again a new ‘I’ seemed to emerge, like the phoenix.  This thought bothered, and thus stayed with me awhile. I ruminated over this recurring ‘I’ with a new face. I tried to blend, merge with the daughter feeling in me, and saw myself as a wife. I tried to put both together then a new role of mother popped through a third window of my mind. This seemed very unending and nerve wrecking to me. I was one person, yet so many people depending on the time, situation, given role or duty.  Who or which identity was meditating then, all these months? And who was I searching for during these hours of meditation and contemplation? How many people was this singular I and how many more roles could this person play? What exactly was I trying to fathom?

I  sat and meditated more on this singular thought about who I am, and what was I trying to figure out, who was I trying to search for, why this recurrence of ‘I’ during mediation? Does this ever disappear? Dissolve into oblivion or merge with my creator? Is there such a possibility? Out of blue it came, only when ‘I’ was immersed in HIM did this I seem to dissolve, disappear or merge! Else it always seemed to retain its identity.  This I did not die, it was always there, in whichever form, role I chose to play or identify with. The core or the essence was always the same, I kept changing the clothing ever so often, I failed to pause and see, really see the core within.  I was so busy playing all these roles and disguises, the real I was lost and had gone silent, deep into the recesses of my heart.  I was nothing but HE, the creator, the one person from whom I came; a part of HE.

So, who and where was this I, really? No one and nowhere if seen independently, or the one person whose role I may be playing momentarily; and everywhere and everyone when merged with HIM! A mirror broken reflects the same face in that many number of pieces and when put together the same many faces magically emerge as one. Thus is my inner self too, as long as I predominance remains ‘I’ is a mere piece of the mirror, reflecting it. The minute ‘I’ realises and merges with the mirror it becomes whole again.

To conclude, who am I? I am all of this and also I am neither the mother nor the father. I was never born and I have no kith or kin. I am no one’s friend; I am not a guru nor am I any one’s shishya. I have no separation from my true self, no doubt about my existence, nor have I discrimination on the basis of birth. I am not the relative, nor the friend, nor the guru nor the disciple. I myself am the joy of pure consciousness; I am Shiva, shivoham, shivoham. I am indeed, that eternal knowing and bliss, Shiva, love and pure consciousness.

The song of Self- Verse Three

Atma Shatagam—Adi Shankaracharya  788-820 BC

Na me dvesha  ragau na me lobha mohau

Mado naiva me naiva matsarya bhavah

Na dharmo na chartho  na kamo na mokshah

Chidananda rupah shivoham shivoham (3)

न् में द्वेष रागौ न में लोभ मोहौ

मदों नैव में नैव मात्सर्य भाव:

न् धर्मो न् चार्थो न् कामो न मोक्ष:

चिदानंद रूप: शिवोहम शिवोहम ||३||

Meaning:

I have no likes or dislikes; nor I have greed or delusion; I have no pride or arrogance, vanity; Nor am I jealous of anyone or in competition with anyone; I do not need the four main necessities of life namely: Dharma- the Law of Life, Artha- Wealth, Kama – Desires and Moksha – Liberation; I am the fortunate joyful, Supreme being who is the very emblem of truth, knowledge and eternal bliss. I myself am the spiritual joy of pure consciousness- Shiva; Shivoham, Shivoham.

Further Elaboration:

The Seer, in the second verse, was talking about the gross body, the external sheath. In this verse he tries to go a little deeper and addresses the emotions, the way the mind works and how humans get entangled by the webby mind.  A realised soul, atman is not only devoid of the gross body and its sheaths, the atman is also devoid of illusions and emotional webs. Lust, hatred, delusion, pride, jealousy and greed are the shad ripus; our internal enemies which lead us astray from knowing oneself.  They are also called arishadvargas; these feelings or emotions emanate from the mind, and affect the mind too.  A person who is under the influence of these is still in an illusionary state, follows the dictate of the mind and commits deeds, good and bad. Depending on the actions the result or karma is endured by the seeker. So joys and sorrows, or success and failure, or pain and pleasure follow each other. The true aspirant is yet to know that the gross body, in tandem with these internal enemies, is going through the life cycle. Whereas the atman, being a part of that One supreme being; thus is devoid of this duality. The atman is not affected by these internal enemies, or the external sheaths discussed earlier. The atman is beyond all these.  The supreme one has no obligation to be righteous, procuring wealth and or maintaining physical well-being, aspiring for Liberation; none of these bind the atman. A person under the influence of these internal enemies commits sins and as a result suffers pain; with an ever increasing bondage and clinging towards this samsara/world. But a jeeva mukta who has achieved Realization is free of these internal passions. A jnani always maintains the same sightedness or sama-dristhi towards everyone, everything and every event. The atman is free of this life and death cycle. Atman is one with the Supreme Being.

Exercising Dama- sense control and Sama- mind control we need to again and again bring the mind back to the Self or Atman.  When the world fails to tempt us in anyway, the mind begins to earnestly think of the Atman.  Once these temptations are lost on the mind, we move closer to the heart. The mind acknowledges and gets the power of discrimination. The world is but [ 5 ] Page 20The Rise of Pentaho Analytics along with Big data recovery Pentaho, headquartered in Orlando, has a team of BI veterans with an excellent track record. Maya, a projection of the Supreme one in the shape, form, colour, and size that is convenient to us humans.

A small analogy to illustrate the above verse: Our room is ours because of the identity and special attachments we add to it, décor of choice, our special corner, our own cosy specially chosen towels with colour and print of our choice, we inadvertently go about giving those four walls a special unique identity and think that is the whole world! Just imagine breaking those four walls; is it possible that a part of the other room could now be a part of your identity too?  Now, the adjacent room and your room have lost their differences or in other terms become one big room, right? And again, going a little further, if we are able to do away with the walls of the house altogether; then it is possible that we can feel one with the neighbour too? And this can go on, to breaking away the boundaries, physically and psychological.  What is it that is separating us? Are they not these walls we build, physically in the material world and mentally or emotionally for the inner world? We came from The One Supreme Being, God is one and we all are definitely carrying Him within us. We have, over the years developed layers and layers and further more layers; built a stronghold of emotions and samskaras, differentiated ourselves from Him, separated the self from the Self, who has ever been within us, a mute spectator, waiting patiently.  The wait is simply to be able to peel away these coatings, look deeper, and remove the coloured glasses and become one with the Self. The Self is all pervasive only when we are one with the Self, else it instantaneously becomes the self, with its differentiation and layers.

If one adds water to water, it remains the same, when one adds colour to water, does not imply that the water has lost its identity, it is the person who added the colour who sees it thus. How is water getting affected in all this? Similarly, the all-pervasive is the same; we have added layers and hidden Him inside, in the deepest recess of the heart. That is exactly what the great seer, Shri Ramchandra ji said, “God has hidden Himself inside you and exposed you, you hide yourself, and expose Him”. And then you will know, realise that you are, and were always one with Him.  And we sing with others; I myself am the spiritual joy of pure consciousness- Shiva; Shivoham, Shivoham.