Your child and you-1

About ISP

The following is a continuation of the series your child and you, enabling the parent to understand their children and groom them effectively. My learning from Siddha Samadhi Yoga says that the child is like sponge from the age 0- 5, and then the phase for showing what has been grasped during these crucial five years is noticed. I attended this Infant Siddha program with my first born very meticulously. My son though, was already 2years + by the time I got to know of this program and they said I was late, a little too late! My son was old already. I was taken aback to hear my baby being called ‘old’ , but the verity has begun to sink now, with all these cases that come to me.

Infants and toddlers see and learn during formative years, soaking it all up, the good and bad alike. We parents are too busy feeding, cleaning, putting them to bed, catching forty winks ourselves if possible, then again the baby is up so feed, clean and it is like an endless loop. The first three years of most parents are is a small circle dotted with stops at the clinic, crèche, home and maybe one two other places like relatives and playschool. We forget that the child is happily soaking it all up, the hustle bustle and the scenery, the people, the learning from every person the child is interacting with too! So every relationship is a learning experience for the baby. What is a rushed routine, waiting for the child to grow up is the learning period for the child. Imagine the magnitude of what we have lost in our ignorance and what the child has inadvertently learnt again because of our innocence (I dare not use the word ‘ignorance’ too many times, touches the wrong nerve of the parents.)

The child first learns to see, observe, then listen, talk and the last in the line of education is writing. Whereas parents wait for the child to talk first, then we assume that it makes sense to make the child reason or understand, the child will begin to listen. The child has been hearing for the last 1 year or so, not to forget the + nine month’s conception to delivery time! So we have actually waited almost 2years more than the needed time. Meanwhile, the child has already heard a lot, made many impressions, images in his or her mind, some alterable, some indelible, some good and some bad of course.

This Infant Siddha program has done extensive research and experiments too. According to them a new born has about 100 billion active brain cells with 50 trillion brain connections and by the time the child is 10years old half of these connections would have died off! That still leaves half alive for us to wake up late and yet achieve a few milestones. They have created magic children and child prodigies, trained mothers from the day they conceived and set many examples of miraculous babies. The site has extensive information for any parent who wants a miracle child. The site is www.liyaisp.org and the mail id if the person managing and conducting these classes is manjo@vsnl.com . Here I will talk of on behalf of every child, with without the program and trying to understand these children better to enjoy parenting to its fullest best. Getting discouraged that we have lost so much already is a defeatist attitude, let us pull up socks and say, “I will learn to and make up for the lost time and reach the finishing line in the same time”.

My semi ISP trained kids

Parenting ‘knack’

So, parenting is really a knack, it nine out of ten it comes naturally to the parent. The whole disadvantage begins with this line itself, because now most families have both working parents and the influence they leave on their children is very piecemeal and disintegrating. The nuclear family structure which is most prevalent these days is also a big hurdle. This ‘knack’ is being in tune with the child, to a degree where the parent perceives thought of the child with the very expression or every look of the child. The verbalization of that look and expression on the child’s face must come naturally to the parent and spontaneously and immediately! Now how many of us can say yes to all of these? At least earlier the grandparents used to have time and enjoyed grand parenting and imparted a lot of wisdom, now with this nuclear family convenience and nuisance, we have lost out on that advantage too. For all you know, maybe our parents also felt that they lacked the knack of parenting then and now wish to enjoy their grand children to their fullest. Whatever maybe the reason my point is why can’t we parents really enjoy parenting?

It is never too late to begin, because your child is your guru. All the parents need to do is a role reversal! Observe the child and start learning from the child. Without holding back, bias and with complete enthusiasm and spontaneity if any parent can be with their child, that parent has the knack of parenting is also on the correct road to perfect joyous parenting. The parent should allow the child to decide and stay away from imposing decisions on the child. You then give room for the child to listen, think, assimilate and then make decisions; decisions which have come from him/her and which are meant for him/her. We parents must know what we want to imbibe in the child? The values we wish to impart must be crystal clear and we need to do a repeated refresher course with these values and guidelines ourselves.

Are we allowing the child to discover him or herself, giving an exposure or an outlet to explore his/ her unique talents and foolish wishes too? Allow them to dream, because every dream precedes a goal, and dreamers are usually more successful than the non- dreamers. We are too focused on academics alone, but think a step ahead please, is academics the sole determinant for an intelligent or successful child? Who are we to rob the children of their dreams, to thrust some certificates down their throat? We are robbing the child of his/ her childhood and ingenuity! We need to ask ourselves these simple questions. It is the parent’s hands to give the child the vision of become a dwarf or a giant, emotionally. What we show them to see is what they believe and grow up to be.

We give love they learn to love, we cuddle they cuddle, we are cold and stiff they grow up self conscious and stiff. The source or the root is us, on which these tender buds with the potential to bloom grow. Respect your child, if you are away most of the time, work constraints; then sleep talk to them. They understand and sense that little bit too. They are so receptive. My husband is practically a guest daddy, but this one habit of his, to come back home at some god forsaken 11 or 12 in the night, yet go and sing a lullaby to my daughter and smother my adolescent son with his kisses has made a big impact on the children. They barely exchange any notes during the week but the weekends, they lap up all his attention and dote on him and pamper him! They remember all hugs, songs and smothering they received when they were asleep. It surprises me, but they have a lovely relationship and it works wonders for my family.

I thoroughly enjoyed and lived every moment with both my children. It is honestly a boon to see them flourish and grow up into content and complete kids, adolescents and able adults too (I still have to wait for the last part). Up until now, I am happy I have given them my time, we have had our own share of ups and downs, but till date the ride has always been exhilarating and full of sweetness. So it is love, love and more love, the trick or the knack of parenting.