Role of parents

Are parents God’s?

Some person once described the role of parents as, “The boon given by God to play God!” I was rather surprised and disagreed with that description. How can parents be elevated to the status of God? Especially the present generation parents; most of the middle class income group has both the parents working and the time spent with the children is negligible and devoid of any influence on the progeny. So, do the parents really get to play God for their children in this day and generation too? In many ways the answer even today is, yes, they do.

The first three years of the child are the sponge or the learning years. The influence of these years is reflected in the way child’s life shapes itself. In these deciding years mother is the most prominent figure, interlaced with the presence of the father, siblings and extended family or support system. As the child grows up new faces are introduced, like teachers, mentors, friends and peers. But the constant familiar face of the father, mother and siblings’ remain and the values coming from this area cement themselves firmly in the child. So, the child becomes a mirror image of the parents in a subconscious way. It is a natural and sublime happening which actually comes to the fore very starkly when the child becomes an adolescent. The parents need to be doubly cautious about how they behave, what they talk and even what their body language implicates; in front of the spongy toddlers. Parents today are usually working parents and live a stressed life. It is practically impossible to devout time to the children exclusively and most of them are seeking umbrage under full time maids, crèches and graduate to tuitions for all subjects. Many parents resort to extracurricular activities like Drawing, calligraphy, skating and the like so that the children are busy; not demanding the parents attention or time. This bluff gets called off the day the children are old enough to figure out the real reason. Or if they do enjoy all these extra activities then they drift away from the parents and get immersed in their own world, which is a loss for the parents in the long run. Instead if the parents can mutually decide and see to it that at least one parent is available for the child; it builds a confidence and emotional stability in the child. It is not the physical presence which is really needed here, rather the emotional presence and the feeling that ‘I can go back home and cry my heart out, in case of need’ needs to register to the child. If the parents succeed in this then most of their battles are won and the child grows up to be a very competent, aware and happy child.

Who should she pray to?

Our role

In every way the parents inspire the toddlers and kids grow up in awe of their parents and their achievements, wanting to become like them. As teenage approaches these children begin to see the chinks in their parent’s armor and the sheen wanes considerably. They realize that their parents are not God’s or the paragon of virtues that they imagined them to be. Many weakness or faults come to light and they start to move away or seek a different role model to emulate. If the parents wait this long, then reclaiming their role model position becomes next to impossible. It is prudent to be honest open and communicative with the children from the start itself. Behaving the way you want them to behave when they grow up is very important, you tell a lie in the passing or in jest, but the adverse effect it has in the children cannot be treated in jest. It may become a habit hard to get rid of and the parents will have only themselves to blame. It is not necessary that you be a paragon of virtues, but it is imperative that you acknowledge your mistakes and commit to correcting them. Correcting them is difficult if you think of yourself as flawless always, because with time the children understand what is right and wrong; you only add to your woes if you continue to turn a blind eye.

Though I will definitely advocate a stay at home mom or a part time working mom; but if the parents can juggle work and home efficiently then they can choose their best option. What is more important as parents is the quality time with the children, and what you impart to the children in that little time you have to be with them. Enjoy them to your fullest when they are with you, because very soon they will have to leave your nest in search of their own destiny. Be there for them in times of need so that you have the satisfaction of doing your best for your child.

To come to my initial statement, yes, we are God for our children. But do we deserve to be God’s just because we gave birth to them or do we have a more important role to play, in raising them; this each parent has to answer for oneself in all honesty. Us being God’s or not is in our own hands.